John Murphy

This is the Rock House Center podcast and I'm John Murphy.

Beth Murphy

I'm Beth Murphy and because we're living with an unusual amount of fear and concern surrounding us, we want to get at what are the causes of that and then talk about how we can overcome worry and fear.

John Murphy

Well, certainly since it's God's plan for us to be at peace, then he must have some answers. So I'm looking forward to digging into some of the concepts around this issue because it's.

John Murphy

Pretty broadly experienced by a lot of folks and you can understand why, given what we're living through today in this not just this country, but the whole planet.

Beth Murphy

So in many ways, the things that we've all been dependent on and we haven't really questioned.

Beth Murphy

And in many ways, those things the rug has been pulled out from under US and we're having to re make decisions or reconsidered things that we hadn't really, really thought were going to be up for grabs, so to speak.

Beth Murphy

And just many things that have become triggers.

Beth Murphy

I guess you might say.

Beth Murphy

For our lack of peace, our worry or fear and.

Beth Murphy

I don't know that we need to really list all those though in terms of what's going on in society and a virus all around the world.

Beth Murphy

Economics and those things we all know those things and we all know the tumble down effects of how it's impacting our personal lives.

Beth Murphy

Let's just talk about how we get out.

Beth Murphy

What's underneath that?

Beth Murphy

And how we can get to a place of peace like never before?

John Murphy

Based on our experience at Rock House and our personal experience, it seems to boil down to.

John Murphy

New basic causes of worry and fear and one has to do with what worrying and fear mean to us and what it means to other people.

John Murphy

That's sort of how we have been trained or brought up or experienced it, and therefore adopted into our speak into our thinking and then the other side is just what we're trusting in those two things seem to be the basis of a lot of fear.

John Murphy

A lot of worry.

Beth Murphy

Well, I can speak to the aspect of what you're trained in.

Beth Murphy

Certainly I think of in.

Beth Murphy

Well, really all the generations I can remember in my family an assumed way of expressing that you care about somebody or you love them as you just tell them.

Beth Murphy

You're worrying about him, just.

Beth Murphy

I'm just so worried about you.

Beth Murphy

I worried that you did this.

Beth Murphy

I worried that this happened to you.

Beth Murphy

And of course, that really sort of stamps on a a sense of uncertainty and a way of life.

Beth Murphy

That there is nothing really to trust in and see it just as a child launches you out with the feeling that.

Beth Murphy

Well, I guess that's an expression of love, but it really is very unsettling, but it's a training, and so we come away from that with the feeling that that's what you do to express love as you worry about people and and then certainly in your culture just around us.

Beth Murphy

Also, just throughout my life I can think of phrases.

Beth Murphy

That people use a lot that.

Beth Murphy

I'm devastated by something not going, well, huge words, you know.

Beth Murphy

Terrible, terrified, horrifying, situation, debackle all those kinds of ways of describing just things that don't go well in life or are upsetting or horrific tragedies.

Beth Murphy

And then now that I'm thinking about the culture, my heavens when you.

Beth Murphy

Listen to or read the news, then the phraseology that's used in the news and it's all just in the world coming to an end.

Beth Murphy

Even before we had the circumstances that we have now and the the phrases that are used to describe it every day, all day are all extreme words for.

Beth Murphy

Being extremely worried all the time.

John Murphy

That certainly tracks with what we've seen here in our experience.

John Murphy

Again, like I said before, personally, as well as in this position, we are in where we're seeing a lot of people suffering.

John Murphy

We have examples of that coming over and over and over again.

John Murphy

If we just collect that all together into one basic category, there is a cultural thing that's built in first on the family level and then the culture that you live in.

John Murphy

So I mean, families have their own cultures and people pick up behavior from people who are older than them and their gods of their youth or parents, and they and other folks.

John Murphy

That they start adopting and processing.

John Murphy

That way we're talking about how worry can be an expression of love.

John Murphy

Well, people have been on the receiving end of that, and that's what they're really trying to express to someone else and inside.

John Murphy

It can be initially based on a positive outcome, but the reality of is it still leaves us in a place of worry and that is not where we're supposed to be.

John Murphy

As believers who trust in God and God's plan for us to be at peace that doesn't, that's not where he's trying to take.

Beth Murphy

Us so there is an undoing of the way we've done life.

Beth Murphy

In many cases, if we've assumed or been raised or trained.

Beth Murphy

That expressing worry is a way to express love or compassion and you have a building up the sort of mountain mountains of worry and fear that accumulate over time and the assumptive response to things going on around you.

Beth Murphy

And and so there is an undoing of that that needs to happen if we're going to live in a place.

John Murphy

Right, another source of fear is what we trust in.

John Murphy

That's a giant piece of it, and I think is probably maybe the bigger piece.

John Murphy

We are built to relate to God and have gotten in a relationship and a trusting relationship, and that's supposed to be the foundation of our peace.

John Murphy

But it's pretty common, and again, we've seen a lot of this.

John Murphy

We've experienced it personally as well.

John Murphy

Of course we've we've seen a tendency in folks to try to find an answer other than God, and it may be to trust in how well they do things like in some cases, being a perfectionist, some people who are perfectionists because that's the way they deal with life.

John Murphy

You have people who count on there.

John Murphy

Their stock account, their money in the bank, their things that they own, their job that they have, the relationships they have.

John Murphy

There's just quite a number of things other than God that are out there that people have a tendency to trust him and tendency.

John Murphy

I guess I guess is the word to use, but because of the sin nature within us and the desire to be in control and to be able to touch and feel the things that we trust in which is apart from the spirit side of us, then there is always going to be the temptation to do that.

Beth Murphy

Well, I can speak personally to that just to make this a real world example.

Beth Murphy

And trusting in your your own ability to achieve the goals you want to achieve.

Beth Murphy

Get the approval from other people that you feel like you need.

Beth Murphy

Get the validation that you want.

Beth Murphy

From whether it's other people approval or your own checking, your box of the things that you've accomplished or or the place you've arrived at in a given season in your life, if that's what you're trusting on.

Beth Murphy

And then none of those things are available to you because your company changes your child.

Beth Murphy

School has all turned upside down.

Beth Murphy

When you're having to re-evaluate the entire way that you educate your children and move into, say, a zone that's uncomfortable there because it's not what you expected, not what you planned on and not something you necessarily feel like you're particularly skilled at, and if.

Beth Murphy

In in my case, if your value has come from making your decisions correctly, feeling good about all those things and feeling falsely like you have a sense of not that you're controlling the unknown, but you're controlling enough that you feel like you're managing the surprises that you.

Beth Murphy

Come your way, but.

Beth Murphy

When a whole package of surprises come at you and unravel some big things in your life, even if they're not devastatingly bad, they're just it.

Beth Murphy

It's the recognition that there's a whole lot here that's beyond my control, and it's pretty uncomfortable.

Beth Murphy

So for a person who has been dependent on their own achievements.

Beth Murphy

Or their own sense of other people's approval about their achievements to feel good about life. That's a setting where life can feel pretty uncomfortable right now.

John Murphy

Self is a common focus when people are trying to manage how life feels or deal with uncertainties.

John Murphy

When we count on our perfectionism or our perform.

John Murphy

That's those are the kind that's basically counting on us to try to get a piece about something that's really bigger than we are.

Beth Murphy

So things that people are finding themselves worrying about now again are those kinds of circumstances that have changed where their financial situation has changed, or they're having to make decisions about their children.

Beth Murphy

Schooling and.

Beth Murphy

None of the variables seem just right. None of them seem perfectly comfortable and you can look at options ABC.

Beth Murphy

None of them feel comfortably like the right thing to do.

Beth Murphy

So then what are you left with?

Beth Murphy

Well, you're left with having to make decisions about these things and trust in something bigger than yourself.

John Murphy

Or the characteristics?

John Murphy

That we've seen is that when someone has an issue in front of them that they will try to think through all the possible outcomes.

John Murphy

It's really kind of a worry process when you think about it, but if they're giving up, like you're saying a decision to make, maybe it's about whether you home school or you don't home school.

John Murphy

In the current situation that.

John Murphy

Or in the approach of trying to figure out all of the possible outcomes of how that would go, or try to figure out everything that might happen that would might impact that decision.

John Murphy

Trying to figure out that if no matter what I can do so that no matter what the outcome is, I'll be OK into the future.

John Murphy

That is, uh, that's another worry engine and it's.

John Murphy

Actually something that comes out of our desire to try to control what's coming up, but and try to make a decision decision for now and deal with all the possible outcomes that are coming.

John Murphy

We can't see the future, and without knowing what's coming, we're not going to be able to.

John Murphy

Even have any idea if our decision today is a correct one or not?

John Murphy

But there's a lot of times we find that people get all worried about the future and it's all about trying to predict the future.

John Murphy

And this is a great example of why it is that we need God. We need that. We need to know that whatever our best decision is, we do our best to make our best possible decision. But we got to know that God's there.

John Murphy

With us in the outcome, because if we don't then that makes us trying to figure out things which are totally beyond us and that catches this up in a worry trap and that kind of worry can turn into depression.

Beth Murphy

Absolutely the the source of the kind of depression that comes from sort of looping thinking is is how I've described it where you just get on this treadmill of thought and it can be about past things, and you know, reevaluating past decisions that you might have made differently if you had known what was coming.

Beth Murphy

Or you knew what?

Beth Murphy

If you knew what you knew?

Beth Murphy

Now back when you made that decision or future things and it can be about.

Beth Murphy

You know health care decisions for a loved one, a job, all those kinds of things.

Beth Murphy

You know the the.

Beth Murphy

The territories are endless in terms of how this can affect us.

Beth Murphy

Right now the process is actually, you know, the podcast we did on no second guessing also relates to this as a related big concept of going in and.

Beth Murphy

Revisiting past decisions and.

Beth Murphy

And having self recrimination on how I made those decisions and then the same thing looking forward again, trying to evaluate all the unknowns and prepare for those unknowns.

Beth Murphy

We think of the problem being the source of our worry, but the problems and the circumstances in the world right now are just triggers.

Beth Murphy

We're talking about addressing the cause.

Beth Murphy

Which is what we do at rockhaus center with clients and certainly in our own lives and the process of.

Beth Murphy

Ongoing process of transformation that Lords got underway for all of us and all everyone who works at Rock House is getting at the root cause.

Beth Murphy

What's the underlying cause of why this change in circumstances has propelled me into a thought processing loop or sinking into some discouragement?

Beth Murphy

Worry, fear, depression, whatever.

Beth Murphy

May be going on, but again, the problem out in the world is the trigger.

Beth Murphy

The way I'm reacting to it and what's underneath and the long term thing inside me is the root cause.

John Murphy

And it's the only thing I can.

John Murphy

Deal with.

John Murphy

That's where I have to focus.

John Murphy

I'm not.

John Murphy

We are not able to deal with triggers that are out of our control and despite our efforts and our worrying about all those things and trying to control the triggers, we can't.

John Murphy

The only we can really control is where those triggers landing in US and get ourselves peaceful and this is back to the fact that we were designed to have our trust in God as the basis of our peace.

John Murphy

The way our psyche is built is that for us to have peace, we have to have trust in something that thing that we have trust in has to be trustworthy.

John Murphy

It has to be bigger than the problem.

John Murphy

It's going to have to be, as we've said before, we have to trust in something that's bigger than our biggest part.

John Murphy

Otherwise, we're not going to have any peace.

John Murphy

Otherwise it's just me going alone without any particular help from anyone.

John Murphy

If I am in a situation where I'm struggling, I want to partner with the entity which is bigger than what I'm struggling with and this and that's really the challenge is that we have this tendency to partner with our our own strength we partner with.

John Murphy

Dependency on things in the world.

John Murphy

We partner which change we partner with the idea that those things will continue as they are.

John Murphy

Well, that's certainly not the case that's been proven in spades right now.

John Murphy

Our culture, So what we have to do is move away from those things and reject our dependencies on things that really are not trustworthy.

John Murphy

To fill this deepest need that we have for peace, God is really the only answer.

Beth Murphy

For that, so if we're trusting in things that things Will Rock along that we've counted on and stay the same, then.

Beth Murphy

There's no source of peace in that because there's no guarantee that that will happen.

Beth Murphy

It's actually really good news here.

Beth Murphy

This point that you're making?

Beth Murphy

That our peace can't come from all those external circumstances, because to the extent that we believe that it does, there's always an underlying threat of all of it crumbling, and so it's really good news that there is something bigger that we can trust in God and that he really, truly, no joke.

Beth Murphy

Is bigger than all of these unknowns?

Beth Murphy

All of the threats and all the decisions that we've got to make his Holy Spirit resides inside those of us who invite him in.

Beth Murphy

He makes himself that available to us to influence all of our.

Beth Murphy

Visions and to impact every dimension of our.

John Murphy

Lives so I have my own experience about the issue of trust and it had to do.

John Murphy

It's actually in the trust chapter of our workbook that is a part of our process here, and I tell the story of how much I was dependent on my own strength in my own managing things like what's left on the line of credit.

John Murphy

At home and what's left on the line of credit at the credit card on the credit card, and where do I have some 4?

John Murphy

01 K or some RA money I might be able to get to it just is all the part of my.

John Murphy

Dance in my head trying to figure out how to deal with my fear about provision and it was a really interesting experience.

John Murphy

Is that as I was in there and actually getting pretty work worked up because things were looking pretty lean at that season of life.

John Murphy

I didn't really know where the answers were going to be and what hit me while I was doing that is that if I didn't stop trusting in that and start trusting in God?

John Murphy

There was really no way for me to ever have peace and in my fear and my refer reaction to how I manage things, I probably would end up with nothing if I kept going that effort to try to make everything work out at the end was counting in myself and in my own control and not trusting.

John Murphy

And God, and also limiting to to my horizon, I mean my horizon was a line of credit on the House on a credit card and in RA guys a whole lot bigger than that.

John Murphy

And that was one of the interesting aspects of it is that when we do count on ourselves, then we limit the options to what we can come up with.

John Murphy

So the source of peace comes at the moment of trust.

John Murphy

What I realized I had greater and greater levels of peace.

John Murphy

The more and more I trusted him, the outcomes and the ways in which he made things happen in the future were undeniable, and I can point to exactly what those things were which were beyond expectation were not reasonable, could not have been reasonably.

John Murphy

Anticipated if you looked at the horizon that was before me and these things amazing things happened, and I certainly attributed all that to him.

John Murphy

The moment of peace came at the moment of trust, and I think that's where we have to go is to reject all of these things.

John Murphy

We're counting on reject counting on ourselves.

John Murphy

Reject counting on things in the world and accept the fact that.

John Murphy

God has come up with some pretty big promises in Scripture that he'll provide.

John Murphy

What we'll need heals satisfy those deepest needs of our heart, and so we want to move into rejecting the old things which are not trustworthy, that we have a tendency to trust in and accept and get asked God to give us the strength to trust in him for those things so that we can have the peace that he has forced.

John Murphy

There's actually no other way.

John Murphy

To get to peace, humans can't get to peace without trusting in something that's a trustworthy and the trustworthy thing has to be bigger than what they can deal with, and so we're kind of stuck.

John Murphy

We have the option of either not trusting God and being in fear and worrying or trusting him and having and being able to move into peace.

John Murphy

We don't really have any other option.

Beth Murphy

Can really relate personally.

Beth Murphy

To the kinds of situations that clients at rockhaus talk about.

Beth Murphy

That they're right in the middle of now, which are causing them worry or fear in terms of them being similar to the kinds of things the looping, thinking about trying to process through all the eventualities of of a decision coming up, but specifically also with fear that I might make a mistake.

Beth Murphy

In making a decision so trying to decide about your your child school and are we going to send them to this school or we're going to have them go to to in person classes?

Beth Murphy

Or are they going to be at home?

Beth Murphy

Am I going to home school then?

Beth Murphy

But if they catch the virus, what if?

Beth Murphy

What if this happens, what if they get behind in school all again, all those variables that are way too much to factor in, but the worry and fear about it is increased exponentially.

Beth Murphy

When there's this added layer of what if I make a mistake?

Beth Murphy

And what if I do something wrong?

Beth Murphy

And then what if that affects my child and?

Beth Murphy

Now we're into all of those kinds of things.

Beth Murphy

When you can take that into caring for a loved one, an aging parent, or someone who is ill and your family and all of the variables there and this sort of sinking into your dependency on yourself to control all the unknowns.

Beth Murphy

In the future, to go back into the things in the past and reconsider what you did.

Beth Murphy

All of that needs to be scrapped.

Beth Murphy

Which I can speak to personally, because there's no peace in processing through all those things to an endless dead end.

Beth Murphy

And the way to come to a place of life. And the place of peace is knowing that all God's asking us to do is is seek him, trust him.

Beth Murphy

And do our best to die to our flesh and respond to him, obey him and trust in him as the pathway to peace, knowing that I don't have to make all perfect decisions.

Beth Murphy

He's not going to leave me on the side of the road.

Beth Murphy

Code totally on on my own to fend for myself.

Beth Murphy

If I make some decision that has negative consequences, and it could be that all three of the options.

Beth Murphy

I'm considering all of them have potential negative consequences.

Beth Murphy

None of them are perfect answers and so my trust that God will be with me as I walk through whatever I feel led to walk.

Beth Murphy

Through doing the best I can do and following his lead, that's where the place of peace is.

Beth Murphy

Not that I'm going to do something that is completely flawless, totally above reproach.

Beth Murphy

If if anyone wants to critique those decisions at a later time, just that I'm going to trust you.

Beth Murphy

Lord, it's all about.

Beth Murphy

You when it comes down to it, that's where my place of peace is.

Beth Murphy

I'm just looking for your leading and I'm looking for your help as I walk this out.

Beth Murphy

And that's the only place.

Beth Murphy

Is that where we can come down to living in a place of peace?

John Murphy

Well, I think we've kind of talked through the issues here.

John Murphy

It's probably a good idea to go ahead and offer up a prayer for anyone who wants to move away from the trusting on things which are not trustworthy and therefore the suffering that they are in in in terms of fear and worry and move over onto trusting God for things that we are really out of our control.

John Murphy

Again, we don't have a lot of other options.

John Murphy

We want to brace this idea that God is the only source because he is.

John Murphy

We're not making it up.

John Murphy

We've seen it here repeatedly.

John Murphy

Folks, come here with all sorts of dependencies on things which have left them in a great deal of suffering.

John Murphy

Every case that we work with every situation it's about helping.

John Murphy

People release and let go of the old ways of depending on things that are trustworthy and moving towards that trusting relationship with God.

John Murphy

That is the answer.

John Murphy

So let's get into a prayer.

John Murphy

Repeat after me on this if you feel like you want to release the old things which have caused you suffering and move into more trusting with God.

John Murphy

So heavenly father.

John Murphy

Please forgive me.

John Murphy

For having ever trusted anything.

John Murphy

Other than you.

John Murphy

To fill the deepest needs of my heart.

John Murphy

Early father, I confess.

John Murphy

That I've had fear and worry.

John Murphy

Because I've been trying to function.

John Murphy

In my own strength.

John Murphy

Lord, I reject the belief.

John Murphy

That there's any way.

John Murphy

That I can have the peace that.

John Murphy

You have for me.

John Murphy

Without trusting you.

John Murphy

Lord, I reject my dependency on anything other than you.

John Murphy

For my peace.

John Murphy

I asked that she would heal me.

John Murphy

Of the ways that I've suffered.

John Murphy

Because I haven't trusted you.

John Murphy

Lord, please give me the strength.

John Murphy

To resist the desire of my flesh.

John Murphy

And my old patterns.

John Murphy

To move back into trusting things which are not trustworthy.

John Murphy

Lord, I invite you into my heart.

John Murphy

To replace all those things with your presence.

John Murphy

I ask you to invade my heart whenever I lose peace.

John Murphy

To remind me that you are trustworthy.

John Murphy

And that you are the source of peace, no matter what the situation is.

John Murphy

I pray this in the name of your son, Jesus.

Beth Murphy

Hey man, thank you for joining us today and may you be blessed with a greater measure of peace as you pray this prayer and set about your life with a growing dependency on God.

John Murphy

If you're having a hard time shaking this fear and worry, just remember we are here, give us.

John Murphy

A call if we can help goodbye.