John Murphy:
This is the Rock House Center Podcast, and I'm John Murphy.

Beth Murphy:
I'm Beth Murphy, and our podcast today is about having a new you in the new year.

John Murphy:
Everyone wants a new you in the new year, but people often get sidetracked on the strategy and end up frustrated.

Beth Murphy:
Even if it's not a completely new you, just something new—a fresh twist or change.

John Murphy:
This is the time when people think, “I want to do something different next year. I want a new job or a change in my life.” The biggest struggle is changing ourselves—our routines and behaviors. Those are the hardest.

Beth Murphy:
So we need to take an honest look at what it means to have a new you versus just changing behavior.

John Murphy:
Most people focus on behavior, which comes with a burden. They think, “I need discipline to be different.” Whether it’s losing weight or eating healthy, the focus is on forcing behavior. Discipline means doing what we don’t naturally want to do, and that’s not how real change happens.

Beth Murphy:
If I want to stop angry outbursts or hurtful words, I can try to anticipate and control them—or I can look at what’s underneath. Why am I angry? Why do I say things I regret? Those behaviors reflect something deeper inside.

John Murphy:
Exactly. People often turn to anger management techniques, which are just discipline. God’s perspective is different. Real, sustainable change comes from addressing the heart. Most people try to change the outside without dealing with the root cause, but eventually the real self breaks through.

Beth Murphy:
That’s the heart of Be Transformed: New Life Awaits and our counseling program at Rock House Center. We’ve tried the “new veneer” approach and realized we need to go deeper—address the emotions, thought processes, and coping mechanisms like food or approval.

John Murphy:
Imagine if the new you flowed naturally from your character. If your behavior came from desire, not discipline, it would feel natural. God’s way is upstream—working on the heart. When I worked through unforgiveness, I found peace. That reduced my need to medicate with food, and my weight dropped naturally. Before, I tried diets and programs, but the real issue was my heart. When God changed that, my desires shifted, and the change became sustainable.

Beth Murphy:
Think about the last time you tried to change behavior. Was it easy or a burden? Were you counting down to when it would be over? If so, you were relying on discipline, not desire. That’s what we’re talking about—shifting to address what’s underneath and asking God for help.

John Murphy:
If you want a new you that lasts, focus on the heart. Let God lead and give you the desire to be who He wants you to be, rather than forcing external change.

Beth Murphy:
Discipline is doing what you don’t want to do. Desire is doing what you want to do—and there’s no burden in desire. God offers to change us so the person we want to be becomes who we naturally are.

John Murphy:
When we act from desire, we feel energized and satisfied. God’s strategy is internal change, which fulfills our deepest needs. External fixes never satisfy for long. We keep chasing new goals each year because we’re trying to fix heart issues from the outside. God wants to change the heart directly—that’s how life becomes fulfilling.

Beth Murphy:
Your life changed because you obeyed God and forgave someone. That was a turning point. If everyone listening chose to forgive the person who hurt them most, prayed to release resentment, they’d experience enormous relief. Forgiveness alone can change your new year.

John Murphy:
Many Christians think discipline shows Christ’s character, but real transformation comes from heart renewal. External behaviors become natural when the heart changes.

Beth Murphy:
It’s a relief to realize God’s plan isn’t about gritting your teeth and gutting through discipline. You’ve called that the “deprivation death march” in Be Transformed. That’s not God’s plan. He wants to change us so we live out of desire.

John Murphy:
Philippians 2:13 says, “God will give you the energy, power, and desire you need to work His plan for your new life.” God’s gifts aren’t earned through discipline—they’re given when we trust Him. He changes the heart, and the external follows. If you want real change, not just behavior modification, invite God to give you His energy and desire.

Beth Murphy:
Let’s pray together. Repeat after me if you can:
“Heavenly Father, I want the new me You have for me. I give up trying to change my life in my own strength. Please give me the energy and desire to trust Your plan. Open my heart to hear Your leading. I reject the lie that I’m on my own and must rely on self-discipline. I declare the truth that as I seek You, You will lead me into the life my heart desires. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

John Murphy:
Amen. We hope you’ve enjoyed this time talking about the new you. Engage that prayer, repeat it, and look to God for internal change that brings the life you’re seeking. Thanks for joining us.