When your peace depends on someone else’s opinion, you’re not free. Learn how to break the cycle of people-pleasing and find your worth in God alone.
Why You Feel Stuck: How Unforgiveness Blocks Transformation
Feeling Unseen? The Divine Need to Be Fully Known and Loved
Stop Blaming God: Releasing Resentment to Restore Peace
Medicating Pain: Escape vs Finding Peace
We all seek comfort. Whether it’s a warm meal, a favorite show, or a moment of distraction, comfort can feel like a refuge from the chaos of life. But what happens when comfort becomes a crutch—when it’s no longer a momentary relief, but a strategy for survival?
In Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy, John shares how his early emotional wounds led him to seek comfort in food, pornography, and achievement. These behaviors weren’t random—they were attempts to medicate the deep pain of rejection, shame, and worthlessness that had taken root in his heart.
By age 12, John weighed over 200 pounds. Food had become a way to numb the emotional torment. Later, pornography and performance-based accomplishments joined the list. Each behavior offered a temporary escape, but none brought healing. Instead, they reinforced the lie that he was unlovable and inadequate.
This is the spiritual danger of medicating pain: it replaces God’s healing with temporary relief. It’s a counterfeit comfort that never satisfies. The Bible warns us not to turn to idols, yet many of us unknowingly do so when we seek peace in things that cannot heal our hearts.
John’s breakthrough came when he recognized these behaviors as symptoms—not solutions. He began to see that his heart needed healing, not distraction. Through surrender, prayer, and counseling, he invited God into the places he had tried to hide. The result was transformation—not just of behavior, but of identity.
One of the most powerful moments in John’s journey was when he realized that even as a Christian, he had returned to old comfort-seeking patterns. Television, once a harmless pastime, had become an idol. It was a way to escape the discomfort of spiritual dryness. But instead of bringing peace, it created distance from God.
This realization led to a decision: to surrender the idol and trust God for comfort. It wasn’t easy. The temptation to return to old habits was strong. But through repentance and reliance on the Holy Spirit, John experienced freedom. He discovered that true peace doesn’t come from escape—it comes from presence. God’s presence.
If you find yourself medicating pain with comfort-seeking behaviors, ask yourself: What am I trying to avoid? What wound am I trying to soothe? God doesn’t condemn your need for comfort—He invites you to find it in Him. His peace is lasting. His healing is complete.
Surrendering the Idol of Control — God’s Way
Control is one of the most deceptive idols in the Christian life. It often masquerades as responsibility, wisdom, or self-protection. But beneath the surface, the need to control is often rooted in fear, mistrust, and unresolved emotional pain. In Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy, John’s story reveals how even seemingly harmless behaviors—like watching television—can become spiritual strongholds when they’re used to avoid surrender.
After years of spiritual growth, John found himself in a dry season. Prayer was difficult, Scripture felt distant, and his connection with God seemed muted. In this place of spiritual frustration, he turned to television as a source of comfort and escape. What started as a way to unwind became a nightly ritual—one that dulled his spiritual sensitivity and fed old patterns of sin.
The Holy Spirit began to convict John that his dependence on TV wasn’t just a bad habit—it was an idol. It had become a substitute for God’s presence, a way to control his emotional state without trusting the Lord to meet him in his discomfort. The deeper issue wasn’t entertainment—it was control.
This realization led John to a powerful truth: idols form when we try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. His need for peace, rest, and emotional relief was real—but instead of turning to God, he turned to the screen. And like all idols, it demanded more and more of his time, attention, and heart.
Surrendering control is never easy. For John, it meant giving up something familiar and comforting. But as he repented and laid down the idol, he experienced a breakthrough. His prayer life deepened, his hunger for God’s Word returned, and his spiritual sensitivity was restored. The very thing that had blocked his connection with God became the catalyst for transformation.
This post is a call to examine your own life. What are the areas where control has taken root? Are there behaviors, habits, or dependencies that you use to manage your emotions instead of trusting God? The answer isn’t more discipline—it’s surrender.
God doesn’t ask us to give up control because He wants to take something from us. He asks us to surrender because He wants to give us something better—peace, freedom, and intimacy with Him. When we release our grip and trust His way, we open the door to healing and transformation.
The Role of Desire in Transformation: Beyond Discipline
For many Christians, the pursuit of transformation begins with discipline. We try harder, commit to routines, and push ourselves to be better. But as John’s story in Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy reveals, discipline alone cannot produce lasting change. True transformation begins with a change in desire.
John had spent years trying to fix himself through external efforts—mastering hobbies, achieving goals, and even cleaning up his behavior after becoming a Christian. Yet despite these efforts, he found himself spiritually dry, disconnected from God, and still drawn to old patterns of comfort and escape. The problem wasn’t his lack of effort—it was the condition of his heart.
This is a common experience for believers. We often confuse behavior modification with spiritual growth. We think that if we can just be more disciplined, we’ll become more holy. But Scripture teaches that God is after our hearts, not just our habits. Philippians 2:13 says, “For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to will and to act for His good purpose.” The transformation God desires is one that rewires our will—our desires—not just our actions.
John’s breakthrough came when he realized that his heart was still seeking fulfillment in worldly things. Even though his life looked “cleaned up,” he hadn’t surrendered the deeper desires that drove him. He was still relying on television, achievement, and other idols to soothe emotional pain. The discipline was there, but the desire hadn’t changed.
Through prayer, repentance, and a renewed pursuit of God, John began to experience a shift. He no longer wanted to just “do the right thing”—he wanted to love God more deeply. His desire to honor God became stronger than his desire to escape discomfort. And that shift in desire led to lasting change.
This is the essence of authentic transformation. When our hearts are aligned with God’s, obedience becomes a joy, not a burden. We stop striving and start abiding. We stop performing and start loving. And in that place of surrendered desire, God does His deepest work.
If you’re stuck in a cycle of trying harder but feeling spiritually dry, ask yourself: What do I truly desire? Am I pursuing God out of love or obligation? Am I trying to earn His approval or respond to His grace?
God doesn’t want your discipline without your heart. He wants to transform your desires so that obedience flows naturally from love. When that happens, change is no longer exhausting—it’s life-giving.
Freedom from Emotional Torment: The Gift of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many see it as a favor we extend to someone who has wronged us—a gesture of grace toward the offender. But as John’s story in Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy reveals, forgiveness is first and foremost a gift we give ourselves. It is the key that unlocks the door to emotional freedom and spiritual healing.
John’s life was marked by deep wounds—abuse, rejection, betrayal, and shame. These experiences left scars that shaped his identity and behavior for years. Even after accepting Christ, he found himself haunted by the emotional torment of his past. The pain didn’t disappear with salvation. It lingered, affecting his relationships, his peace, and his ability to connect with God.
The turning point came when John began to understand forgiveness not as a feeling, but as an act of obedience. He realized that waiting for the offender to apologize or change was not necessary. God was calling him to forgive regardless of the circumstances. And when he did—especially in forgiving his father—something powerful happened.
The emotional weight lifted. The bitterness dissolved. And in its place, peace flooded in.
Forgiveness is not about denying the pain or pretending the offense didn’t matter. It’s about releasing the judgment we hold and entrusting justice to God. It’s about choosing freedom over bondage. When we forgive, we break the spiritual ties that keep us connected to the offense. We stop reliving the hurt and start living in healing.
John’s story shows that forgiveness is a process, but it begins with a decision. He prayed a simple but powerful prayer, asking God to help him forgive those who had hurt him. He didn’t wait until he felt ready—he acted in faith. And God honored that obedience by bringing healing to his heart.
This kind of forgiveness is transformative. It doesn’t just change our emotions—it changes our spiritual posture. It opens us to deeper intimacy with God, greater clarity in our calling, and a renewed sense of purpose. It allows us to see others through the lens of grace, not pain.
If you’re holding onto unforgiveness, consider what it’s costing you. Are you stuck in emotional torment? Do you feel distant from God? Are your relationships strained? The path to freedom begins with a simple prayer: “Lord, help me forgive.”
You don’t have to do it alone. God will give you the strength, the courage, and the peace you need. And as you release the offense, you’ll find that the person most blessed by your forgiveness is you.
Lies That Bind: Finding Healing from Childhood Wounds
Key Verse:
“For I endorse and delight in the Law of God in my inmost self.” – Romans 7:22
Many people searching for Christian counseling near me are carrying emotional wounds from childhood—lies about their worth, identity, and value. These false beliefs often lead to self-defeating behaviors and ongoing emotional pain.
At Rock House Center, we help individuals uncover and replace these lies with spiritual truth, leading to lasting healing and transformation. God’s truth restores clarity, peace, and a renewed sense of identity.
🎧 Podcast Recommendation:
Freedom from Shame and Unworthiness — Explore how past experiences of abandonment and performance-based love can be healed through spiritual principles.
🙏 Ready to take the next step?
Learn more or book a free online Heart Healing Discovery Session to begin your journey toward emotional and spiritual freedom.
Numbness to Peace: Escaping the Trap of Emotional Survival
The Power of Truth: Rewriting Your Story Through God’s Lens
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32
Your story matters. But the truth about your identity and worth isn’t found in past trauma—it’s found in God’s Word. Painful experiences and false beliefs can shape how we see ourselves, often leading to cycles of shame, fear, and self-defeating behaviors. These patterns keep us stuck, searching for peace in all the wrong places.
When you’ve been wounded by rejection, abandonment, or performance-based love, it’s easy to believe lies about your value. But here’s the good news: God’s truth brings freedom. His Word reveals who you truly are—loved, accepted, and secure in Him.
If you’re searching for therapy near me or Christian counseling near me, Rock House Center offers a proven, heart-focused approach to healing. We help you uncover the root of emotional pain and replace destructive beliefs with spiritual truth. This process leads to lasting emotional and spiritual transformation—not just temporary relief.
🎧 Podcast Recommendation:
Freedom from Shame and Unworthiness — Discover how past experiences of abandonment and performance-based love can be healed through spiritual principles.
