Audio file 

Overcoming_your_past_f.mp3 

Transcript 

John Murphy 

This is the Rockhouse Center podcast, and I'm John Murphy. 

Beth Murphy 

And I'm Beth Murphy. Our topic today is about overcoming your past. There are two things that tend to cause us to be stuck in our past, which can be shame or guilt about things that we've done, or repeating the cycle of past things that cause us shame and guilt. We we may not have both of those things, but there's usually one or the other, maybe both, that cause clouds to kind of linger over us from our past. 

John Murphy 

Yeah, I think in all the years that we've been helping folks, it does seem to fall pretty cleanly into one of those two things not being forgiven and having a lot of guilt and kind of being stuck in that and kind of obsessing on. That and then there's the other piece which keeps them there, which is that every time there's a repeated event similar to the thing they have shame about, then it's kind of like this Daisy chain of all these things in the past that all hits them at once. This is a really difficult place to be. People feel really bad and they get down on themselves, start beating themselves up in terms of. Their self talk, it's very negative. So it's a very real thing for people to be stuck in the. Passed. 

Beth Murphy 

We've all experienced some version of it. You and I certainly both have and we are can certainly understand the things that that we're working with our clients on here at Rockhouse Center. And so that's what we want to address today because we also are very familiar with the freedom from that and it's a tremendous change in the quality of your life. 

John Murphy 

Well, Jesus came to set the captives free, and this is one of those things that he came to set us free of. Is this sense of shame and guilt about our. Test and it is interesting the number of folks that we work with who although they know in a sort of a theoretical head place that they have received forgiveness from God and through they're covered by the righteousness of their son. But they just have a hard time letting it go and really living in that and believing and trusting in that. And so they come in with a sense of I'm not sure I'm really forgiven. Maybe they've obsessed on a particular. Scripture that they took out of context, that they're kind of beating themselves up by or whatever the message is that got them to this place. It comes down to being able to embrace and live reality of the forgiveness that we have received through what Christ has done for. 

Beth Murphy 

So, accepting that forgiveness of God, you said just a minute ago that most Christians do accept it theoretically, but that's a place where you really want your head and your heart to line up so that your heart can really receive this incredible gift that God has for us and just living in the truth. That the righteousness of Christ really does cover everything. That means everything, period. 

John Murphy 

Yes, God does not withhold his forgiveness. Jesus did not withhold from the cross the forgiveness thee ask God to forgive the people who were trying to kill him. From all the things they were doing, and for all of their sin. And that literally covers everything. So we are now covered by the righteousness of Christ. It's not our righteousness. It's his that covers us but God. Experiences us through that. Richness. If you look at some of the ways in which God's love is described in Scripture, it's clear that he is full of grace, full of love, accepts us. He doesn't keep account of evil done to him. He just loves us and that nothing we can really do to end that. And we need to accept that. But until we get past this. Feeling that we have to earn this love or that there if we make a mistake, it's not available to us. All those things stand in the way of us actually living in and resting in that truth. 

Beth Murphy 

In the process of going through our B transform, new Life awaits workbook and the counseling process at Rockhouse Center. Hugely important focus is the addressing of false beliefs about God. A headliner is this belief that many Christians are struggling under, which is that there's something I've done that's just too big for God to forgive that. I know that other people are forgiven or I'm forgiven for many other things I've done. But but not this thing or this category or this, or the fact that I continue to repeat it. There's a misunderstanding of the character of. That leaves people stuck in this place of believing me because they're in a repeating pattern of sin that they don't know how to get out of, that that excludes them from God's forgiveness and the righteousness of Christ praying to get freedom from that. Renounce that line, except the truth of God's total forgiveness is foundational. To getting over this condemnation and guilt and shame from your past. 

John Murphy 

So that's level 1. If we can address these issues of shame that have to do with false beliefs and that that the righteous of Christ isn't enough, and that somehow God is still hanging on to resentment or anger towards us, so the next step after we've recognized that truth, and we're now beginning to move into it and live in that reality, is to now deal with the why, if we can go now back. Upstream, what's going inside of our heart? What causes the repeated behavior? Because that's another way in which we have a hard time overcoming our past is we don't feel like we're free of the past behaviors. 

Beth Murphy 

So to get free of past behaviors and to really address them, the first step is to open your heart to the Lord, revealing to us why do we do that? And in order to do that, to take an honest look at that kind of put it all on the table, so to speak, we have to renounce or step away from the temptation to hold on to a label. Something that labels me as I'm I am filling the blank, therefore there's nothing that can be done about me to change me and anything that originates from my heart. So if I believe that I. Have. Rage because everyone in my family does, or because I'm Irish or Italian or redheaded, for example. Then I'm just hanging that place in my heart on that label. Or a diagnosis kind of a label. The diagnosis may accurately describe things we've done or or symptoms we experience in life. But if we begin to believe that that defines who we are or how we're created, we're hopelessly stuck or defined by that. Then what that does is just tends to have us relinquish any responsibility for. The things in our heart that cause these repeating cycles. So once we start renouncing that way of thinking falling under a victim mentality or a label and open our hearts for God to reveal the why, then he'll start showing us the why. The legitimate reasons of things that came from early in our childhood, whatever those things are. He'll begin to reveal those things so that he can bring healing and restoration to the. 

John Murphy 

Why? But it is important to deal with the same piece that we talked about, because if we're not dealing with that and really accepting God's forgiveness, then it's very hard to let go of something which is helping us manage the way we feel and feel. But you know, if I'm hanging on to that label. Therefore, I feel that it removes me, exonerates me from any sense of guilt about my behaviors in the past, and I might have a hard time letting go of that if I am stuck in a place of still feeling like I haven't been forgiven. And then I'm and I don't have the right sense of Christ covering me, if I still feel guilty and I still don't feel forgiven, then I'm going to have a hard time letting go of that label. Because that label is protecting me from my sense of guilt. So the thing we talked about first, which is dealing with the shame, is a primary thing, and then we can move into how to get free. So relying on labels to free ourselves of a sense of guilt is really just blaming we're we're blaming the label, we're blaming the things done to us. And if you think about it from that perspective that we blame a lot of things. There's all kinds of ways in which we've heard people blame another person, blame a situation, whatever it is. But what we're really trying to do is not take the responsibility. And until we are willing to accept that. That we are actually the cause and that we move away from blaming and really own this thing. That's when we have a healthy conversation with God about what's behind it, and then we can get free of the repeating behavior in our lives. But until we stop offloading through labels or blaming other people, then it's very hard for us to look honestly at ourselves and again. It's very important to accept the love and the forgiveness of God so that you can have peace moving into this place and recognizing that you just made. The mistake that God's love for you is not on the line that you don't have to perform to just accept your imperfection and and really, it's kind of moving to a place of humility. It allows you to get into your heart and figure out what is it that has created this recurring behavior. And this recurring response that has been a part of you not being able to disconnect from your past. Because you can't stop behaving the way you've behaved in your past. So it's a really important thing. To. Own it and reject all of the blaming, which is a whole lot easier if we're accepting total forgiveness and recognizing that it's OK that we're not. 

Beth Murphy 

Perfect. I'm sure we've all experienced blaming someone or something outside of ourselves for something that we're really accountable for. As you're talking, I'm thinking about an early memory in my own life where. I had longer than shoulder length hair as I guess a four or five year old and decided one day to to experiment with cutting it and cut one side up above my ear and when my parents were shocked I explained that our family Collie dog Prince had cut my hair. And OK, so that's a little more transparent kind of obvious that that was not credible. But then Fast forward, it's also remembering in 3rd grade where teacher left the room for an extended period of time during a test and everyone in the class except. Who really stand out? Students did not. Do this, but everyone else passed their tests around, talks about the answers just totally. We're cheating all over the place. Those of us who did that had all kinds of excuses about basically everybody else was doing it because we feel ashamed about what we're doing and it just feels easier to try to offload it to somebody else. Rather than acknowledge that well, I didn't want to admit that I didn't want to get punished, I didn't want to have the results of whatever the reasons why I rationalized the cheating and so. Taking those relatively benign examples and translate them to the other things in our life that causes us real shame about our past, you can begin to see where it comes from and that we're not doing ourselves any favors by justifying or rationalizing something outside of ourself as the reason for why we've done the things we've done. We just want to be able to look at the why and partner with God to get rid of the why. 

John Murphy 

So we want to dig into motivations. What are the things which motivate that repeated behavior? There certainly can be many, but there are some key ones that we can talk about right here. And the first one I think is missing self worth. I think a tremendous number of people have a lot of things that they have come to rely on, whether it be their own performance, maybe that that they feel like they need to be perfect or they need to be a perfectionist. Or something like that. Or they need the approval of other people, but tremendous amount of the foundational motivations that people have in life. We're trying to figure out how to solve this divine need for self worth, which comes from experiencing God's love fully. But a lot of times we don't trust the God for that. We feel like we need to solve that problem in our own our own. And sometimes we get so intense on that that we end up creating mistakes that we can't really break free of. So that's one way in which people keep repeating behaviors which create issues for them, is they're trying to fill some deep need, not uncommonly the self. Birth issue and then the other side of it is that because it's not working and we're actually not satisfying that need of worth a lot of times we get into comforting behaviors, things that we do for comfort can be alcohol, food, drugs, whatever it is, which cause us to make decisions which are not good for us, cause us to make decisions which create. Things that we're guilty about because we again not trusting, we're trying to comfort ourselves in our own strength. So those are two pretty foundational things that can commonly be a part of old behaviors that we can't get free of. 

Beth Murphy 

So we want to get at addressing lies that we believe about ourselves that can be prompting this cycle. We want to address lies. We may be believing about God or things we're depending on other than God or recognize that there's maybe somebody we need to forgive. And the unforgiveness is prompting a cycle of. Behavior that is causing us more and more guilt and shame and increasing this whole cycle of shame from the past and repeating. Behaviors. The solution for all of that simply comes from inviting God into what's the need in my heart. Where do I need you, Lord? How do I need you to to give me value worth comfort. Believe the truth about you. Believe the truth about your plan and your purpose for me. And be willing to relinquish. All these things I'm holding on to that are causing me a cycle of repeating behaviors that then caused me to be ashamed. We've covered a lot of themes here and I think it's probably time. Just put all this together and turn it into a. 

John Murphy 

Prayer. Yes, I think we want to pray to make sure we're connecting with the truth of God's forgiveness and also to begin to invite him in to. Deal with these really root causes of the things that are gone have gone on in our past and by him into the answer there. So this prayer is to begin the process of engaging God to get the pass off of us so that we can live free of it like he wants us to. So I've got a prayer here and I just would invite you to repeat after me in this prayer so that God can be invited in to begin this process of healing. Heavenly Father, thank you for offering me. Absolute forgiveness. Despite the things that I have done in the past. Thank you that you have accommodated my imperfection. With the perfect sacrifice and righteousness. Of your son Jesus, that covers me. Father, forgive me for trying to medicate my feelings. Of shame and comfort in my own strength. Please replace all these failed dependencies. With your comfort and peace. I reject anything in the world or any strategy of man. To fill the places in my heart, including the false labels. And I ask you to break the control they have had over me. Strengthen me to resist any temptation to return to these dependencies. Thank you, father. That you know me fully and love me perfectly. And that there is nothing I can do to make you love me more or to. Love me less. Thank you that my worth stands on the eternal perfection of your love for me and not my performance. 

Speaker 

Yeah. 

John Murphy 

I asked these to be done in the name of your son Jesus. Amen. 

Beth Murphy 

Amen. We're on a mission at Rock House to bring healing and restoration. To every challenge of life, and we welcome you to join us by sending this podcast to anyone who might be blessed. We want to reach folks anywhere in the world, those who may never come for counselling, and those who have tried traditional counseling and still feel hopeless. Those of you who have a testimony as a rock house client or from doing our B transformed workbook on your own, join us. In this mission, you can lead a friend through the B transform workbook or have them contact Rock House if they're in the middle of a life struggle. We have God's answers for the hurting people in your life, and if they connect with Rock house, they'll hear life changing truth and. Get prayed for. Call us at 615-369-0668 or connect.onlinethroughcontact@rockhousecenter.com. Thanks for joining us today and God bless you. 

John Murphy 

Thanks for joining us. Goodbye.