Unforgiveness: A Hidden Barrier to Peace

Unforgiveness is one of the most subtle yet powerful barriers to peace. It often hides beneath layers of justification, pain, and pride—convincing us that holding onto offense is safer than letting go. But as John’s story in Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy reveals, unforgiveness is not just a spiritual issue—it’s a heart issue that affects every part of our lives.

John had carried unresolved anger toward his father for years. Even after accepting Christ, the emotional residue of their strained relationship lingered. Occasionally, a comment or action from his father would trigger a wave of negative emotions, revealing that the wound had never truly healed. Like many of us, John had tried to “put a good face” on the relationship, but the pain was still there—buried, but active.

The turning point came when John felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to forgive his father—not because his father had asked for it, and not because the offense had been resolved—but purely out of obedience to God. Through a simple prayer of forgiveness and repentance, John released the judgment he had held and invited God into the broken places of his heart.

The result was nothing short of miraculous.

John began to experience long-forgotten feelings of love for his father. What had once been a relationship marked by tension and emotional distance became one of deep appreciation and connection. He saw his father’s love more clearly and began to cherish the relationship as one of the “crown jewels” of his faith journey.

This is the power of forgiveness. It doesn’t require the other person to change—it requires us to surrender. When we forgive, we release ourselves from the torment of bitterness, resentment, and emotional captivity. We allow God to heal what we cannot fix on our own.

Forgiveness is not a feeling—it’s a decision. It’s an act of obedience that honors God and opens the door to transformation. As John discovered, forgiveness is the gateway to peace, restoration, and spiritual maturity.

If you’re holding onto unforgiveness, consider this: What is it costing you? Is it blocking your ability to hear God, to love others, or to experience joy? The good news is that healing is available. You don’t have to wait for an apology or resolution. You can choose today to forgive, and in doing so, invite God to do a deeper work in your heart.

The Role of Desire in Transformation: Beyond Discipline

For many Christians, the pursuit of transformation begins with discipline. We try harder, commit to routines, and push ourselves to be better. But as John’s story in Be Transformed – New Life Awaits by John Robin Murphy reveals, discipline alone cannot produce lasting change. True transformation begins with a change in desire.

John had spent years trying to fix himself through external efforts—mastering hobbies, achieving goals, and even cleaning up his behavior after becoming a Christian. Yet despite these efforts, he found himself spiritually dry, disconnected from God, and still drawn to old patterns of comfort and escape. The problem wasn’t his lack of effort—it was the condition of his heart.

This is a common experience for believers. We often confuse behavior modification with spiritual growth. We think that if we can just be more disciplined, we’ll become more holy. But Scripture teaches that God is after our hearts, not just our habits. Philippians 2:13 says, “For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to will and to act for His good purpose.” The transformation God desires is one that rewires our will—our desires—not just our actions.

John’s breakthrough came when he realized that his heart was still seeking fulfillment in worldly things. Even though his life looked “cleaned up,” he hadn’t surrendered the deeper desires that drove him. He was still relying on television, achievement, and other idols to soothe emotional pain. The discipline was there, but the desire hadn’t changed.

Through prayer, repentance, and a renewed pursuit of God, John began to experience a shift. He no longer wanted to just “do the right thing”—he wanted to love God more deeply. His desire to honor God became stronger than his desire to escape discomfort. And that shift in desire led to lasting change.

This is the essence of authentic transformation. When our hearts are aligned with God’s, obedience becomes a joy, not a burden. We stop striving and start abiding. We stop performing and start loving. And in that place of surrendered desire, God does His deepest work.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of trying harder but feeling spiritually dry, ask yourself: What do I truly desire? Am I pursuing God out of love or obligation? Am I trying to earn His approval or respond to His grace?

God doesn’t want your discipline without your heart. He wants to transform your desires so that obedience flows naturally from love. When that happens, change is no longer exhausting—it’s life-giving.